


The Scars.

by littlelooneyluna



Series: Roblivion [7]
Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Aaron's past, Fear, M/M, Mention of scars, Mentions of Gordon, Miscommunication, Roblivion, Worry, coming together, mentions of self harm, robert being there for liv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 07:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7748977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liv had always known about them, about what they meant and what they seemed to sum up for Aaron - but she hardly ever saw them, she never had reason to.</p><p>Or</p><p>Liv steadily grows more wary and anxious about the scars that her brother has on his body, and when a certain date arrives her own emotions take over which lead her to ignore how her brother could be feeling, and could react.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Scars.

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic tackles the sensitive subject of Aaron's scars and previous self harm occurrences, so if talk about that is a trigger maybe give this a miss. It's not too intense though and more about their emotions about self harm rather than anything actually happening. Apologies for the lack of fluff but I really feel like this is needed. Liv's reactions to Aaron's self harm is a topic I'd love to be discussed on the show and see how Aaron would approach the subject too.

Liv had always known about them, about what they meant and what they seemed to sum up for Aaron - but she hardly ever saw them, she never had reason to. Whenever Aaron was half naked and they were on show she almost automatically shut her eyes and looked away, letting out a small groan because Aaron half naked meant they Robert was probably very naked nearby.

That and, well, she didn't want to see them. A part of her hated them, what they stood for and how they reminded her of a time where even Robert couldn't make him stop feeling lonely and unloved. Her own brother feeling that, broken, worthless, a feeling so strong it was enough to make him harm his precious body - to play with it and treat it like it was nothing important, as if he was nothing important.

  
Liv was thankful it was never talked about in her company, she was grateful the the visible memories weren't ever discussed by Robert or Aaron or even Chas when she was having a go.

  
It was Gabby though he managed to make Liv squirm a few times, make her think about them and feel sick with guilt at the thought of her brother harming himself that way.

  
Gabby was ridiculously matter of fact, with her own 'worries' about pony club and new dresses, Liv was somehow in awe of her. Yet she did take it too far sometimes, making Liv snap, especially when she talked about it as if it was nothing.

  
"God I mean Laurel was staring at me like I was cutting myself to shreds, like I was some weirdo freak just 'cos I wouldn't let her come in my room, what does she think I am?" Her voice was so judgemental, so annoyed and completely absorbed in her own ideas.

  
It was only when she looked across at Liv did she stop to think and pull out a hand, "Soz, no offence." She said dryly, sincerity still there though.

  
Liv shrugged her shoulders as if it meant nothing, despite the fact that it did mean something, of course it did, but he was past that.

Liv thought about it on the way home, the way Gabby was so immediate to apologise as if _everyone_ seemed to know about what Aaron used to be like, apart from her.

 

* * *

 

 

"Earth to Liv," Aaron waved a hand out in front of her, smiling as he turned to Robert and then looked back at her, "You haven't even touched your dinner and don't complain, Robert's worked hard on this haven't you?" He continued looking at his boyfriend and winking, causing Robert to nod smugly.

  
Liv pulled her head up and smiled nervously, "Yeah it's great," she said looking at Robert and making him frown.

  
"Woah, where's the sarcastic remark? Where's the little jibe?" Robert teased acting completely confused by Liv's behaviour.

  
"Oi" Aaron said punching Robert's arm playfully, "Even Liv can have off days." He added laughing the way he usually did nowadays.

  
Liv saw the scene in front of her, Aaron happy and content with his life, his little sister, his boyfriend, the scars seemed years ago, _decades_ , as if they didn't need to belong on his body.

  
"You alight?" Robert asked her, a more serious tone than before, as if he knew something was wrong.

  
Liv let out a fake smile, "Course," she said looking down at her plate of food and then up at Robert again. He seemed to have taken it, given in, _thankfully_ Aaron hadn't noticed, too busy doing whatever he was doing with his right hand, firmly under the table, making Robert blush, _gross_.

 

Liv washed up after dinner, earning another raised eyebrow from Robert and then uncharacteristically a kiss to the head from him, it was weird, nice though.

  
"Liv you know me and this one are going out tonight don't you?" Aaron said cooly, pointing to Robert and biting down on his lip wondering if she knew.

  
Liv felt her stomach twist slightly, Robert was in a good, loving mood and a part of her wanted to talk to him about them, to ask him when the last time was, just to be on the safe side. Yet now he was going out, maybe she'd have to ask Chas, _great_.

  
"Yeah, whatever, have a good time then..." Liv said turning towards the pair by the sofa and drying the plate in her hand.

  
Aaron smiled at her softly, a smile that said _I love you little Liv_  and made her feel better, despite the fact that he had these scars and she didn't know almost anything about how he used to be apart from a 'aaron woz here' sign, she didn't want to dwell on that.

  
"I'm loving this new Liv," Robert said walking towards her and smiling wider than Aaron had, "I'll just go and get my jacket yeah?" He looked back towards Aaron and then walked towards the door, disappearing upstairs.

  
Aaron titled his head and stared at Liv, "Are you sure you're okay? You seem like you've got something on ya mind?" He mumbled out, concerned.

  
Liv sighed a little and walked towards him, given in, "It was something Gabby said." She said falling down onto the sofa next to Aaron.

  
Aaron turned to her, big brother mode kicking in, "What was it kid?" He said, a frown on his face and worry in his eyes.

  
Liv hesitated, she saw how quickly she had managed to stop the happiness in Aaron's eyes, she hated that, "Don't worry it's fine." She let out with a small shake of the head, dismissing the truth and standing up.

  
Aaron raised an eyebrow as he pulled at her arm and made her sit down again, "Not so fast," he said quickly, "Is this about you...struggling with making friends?" He said remembering how horrible it was seeing his sister cry over not having any so far.

  
Liv saw an escape and took it, nodding her head along, "Yeah," she said glumly as she heard Robert come back down the stairs again and stand by the door.

  
"Listen, you _will_ make friends, and even if you don't...still get your big brother and that one to always be there for ya." Aaron let out as he looked at Robert standing by the door still, leather jacket, burgundy top, jeans. _Nice_.

  
Liv rolled her eyes and let out a smile, "Do one then," she said patting Aaron's leg and making him stand up, "I'll be fine." She added as she saw the look on his face.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly as he walked towards Robert and smiled as Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron's sides, tugging him from behind, "I'll look after him." Robert said looking at Liv and making Aaron chuckle, Liv stared back in shock, it was almost as if he _knew_ what was on her mind. This worry for Aaron, always, considering what he did when he needed to be looked after the most.

 

* * *

 

 

Liv decided to wait up, not really sure why but it was almost as if she wanted to be _sure_ Aaron was okay. It was weird, one conversation with Gabby and just other things being on her mind about how Aaron used to be had suddenly made her have this worry. Chas had talked to her after they left, she was looking though these photos of Aaron and suddenly let something slip 'He looked happy didn't he, that was before he took everything out on himself'. It unsettled Liv, removed the smile on her face and made it fall. She knew what that meant.

The back door was pushed open forcibly by Aaron suddenly jolting her out of bed, the weather outside wasn't the greatest and it seemed like the couple had just got caught in another freak rain session that would be over in five minutes. Liv tentatively walked down the stairs and stopped as she saw Aaron, drunk, laughing away like mad as he tried to pull a hand over his mouth to stop himself. Robert was rolling his eyes as if he was annoyed but secretly he was giggling just as much as he guided Aaron into the living room.

  
Liv bit her lip before walking down the stairs, standing by the door of the living room as she peered through.

  
They were soaked, Robert was peeling off his leather jacket and mumbling something like, "Oh God Aaron I'm so soaked mate," shortly followed by a giggle.

  
Aaron scoffed out, "Don't you mean you're _wet_?" He laughed out before shaking his head, "God, I think - I think I'm a bit -"  
Aaron steadied himself by the table, before leaning over and planting a sloppy kiss on Robert's mouth, nearly knocking him over, "You're drunk." Robert said finishing off Aaron's sentence for him.

  
Aaron groaned, "I've got work tomorrow," he let out, slapping Robert's chest, "Why did you let me - drink so much?" he said, annoyed.

  
Robert rolled his eyes and pulled Aaron closer to him, "You looked _happy_." He said simply with a shrug and suddenly Liv was blowing out a sigh of relief by the door, _happy_ was good.

  
"Now," Robert growled before kissing Aaron's neck, "Let's get this off ya," he said as he pulled at Aaron's top and then ripped it off completely making Aaron laugh out a, "Steady on."

  
Liv froze, pulling herself away as she saw Aaron's chest, she had built up this idea of what they would look like and now she was seeing them, four small ones right at the top of his chest, and then smaller ones, jagged as they reached down Aaron's stomach.

  
The sound of Robert pulling Aaron into another kiss made Liv walk towards the stairs again, intent on leaving them to it yet still having that image burning into her mind. How did Robert look past them? He must have been so used to the scars that scattered his boyfriend's body, he didn't even give them a second thought as he held onto him and kissed him passionately, time and time again.

 

* * *

 

 

A week went by and Liv had almost forgotten all about her worries, school started up again and she was revising almost relentlessly for her exams. Gabby was a distraction, of course she was. With all her crazy problems and dramatic issues that had made Liv into a good listener over time.

  
Things were okay until she came home from school, a smile on her face because an exam had gone better than expected. Almost instantly she knew something was wrong, Robert and Aaron were shouting as she walked through the pub and she stopped dead in her tracks as she heard them continue.

  
"Why are you _always_ overreacting?" Aaron yelled out, waving a hand out and obviously snapping at something Robert had said.

  
"It's a check up, they wanted to see ya and you didn't go!" Robert yelled back, coming closer to Aaron and then sighing hard, "What's wrong with ya?" He asked quickly.

  
Liv stood by the door, knowing that if she interrupted anything now she wouldn't find out what all the yelling was really about.

  
Aaron shrugged hard, "It's not like I've had a lot on my mind since," he snapped causing Robert to bow his head, "like m'dad and Liv and the trial."

  
Robert shut his eyes and sighed as he walked towards Aaron, pulling a hand up and holding onto him closely, "M'sorry," he whispered before looking down at Aaron, "But Aaron you could have _died_ , you had _septicaemia_ 'cos of what you did to yourself, it's a big deal." He said, the words stumbling out and obviously effecting him as he spoke.

  
Aaron gave in, a kiss gently placed on Robert's forehead, a 'not to worry' kiss straight before, "I'll go tomorrow, you can come with me."

  
Liv was almost frozen by the door again, _septicaemia_? She didn't dare want to find out what it could it be, instead she tried to remove the shock on her face and sauntered into the room, trying to hide the way her hands were shaking from what she had overheard.

 

* * *

 

 

Another week went by and Liv stayed quiet about what she heard, Aaron seemed even happier and she didn't want to drag him down but then a date was finally there, one that every year until now had made Liv wonder about what her father would be doing - his birthday.

Aaron didn't seem to be that bothered about it, he didn't seem any different that morning as he sat by the table gulping down his tea as Robert banged on about a delivery coming late to the scrapyard that Aaron had to sign for. Aaron placing a hand on top of Robert's, resting it there and Robert gently stroking, so domestic, so normal, the entire scene just completely _ordinary_ , as if Aaron hadn't tossed and turned last night thinking about what the next day reminded him of.

Liv made her excuses to leave earlier than normal, Robert was staring at her oddly as if he sensed something as she walked out of the door but held back, shaking his head and turning towards Aaron instead.

Liv spent the day thinking about it _him_ , _Gordon_. She obviously hated him, but she couldn't stop that feeling brewing inside her, that _what_ if feeling as she thought about her dad being a _dad_ , one she could spoil on his birthday, not cry over.

  
Not even Gabby was able to make her think about other more teenage appropriate issues as they walked back from school.

  
"Go on then, was is it?" Gabby sighed out as she stopped and looked at Liv.

  
Liv frowned, "Eh?" She said quickly making Gabby roll her eyes, "You've been in a mood _all_ day, so spill." She replied, crossing her arms over.

  
Liv gave in with a sigh, "It's m'dad's birthday innit," she let out with a shrug, "Or would have been." She added softly.

  
"O," Gabby said awkwardly as she looked at Liv, "What's Aaron said?"

  
Liv shrugged her shoulders again, "Nothing, not a word." She said bitterly.

  
"Maybe he dosen't know," Gabby said a matter of factly, "Go talk to him." She added as she pushed at Liv's arm in encouragement.

  
Liv pulled a face, "I don't...don't want to burden him with it, he obviously doesn't give a toss." Confusion plagued her mind, she was happy that Aaron wasn't fazed, that he didn't care but a part of her wished he minded, that it mattered to him and that he was as bothered as she was.

  
Gabby sighed hard, "Well he's your brother isn't he? It's sorta he's job to listen to ya, to be burdened." She said with a small smile.

  
Liv gulped hard as she looked at Gabby and sighed, "Fine, see you later." Before turning away from her and walking toward the scrapyard.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron wasn't outside the yard like she hoped he'd be, she had no idea what she was actually going to say to him and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him about anything, but like gabby said, he was her brother and she should be able to share her feelings with him. Liv walked into the portacabin, without knocking as she pushed through the door and saw Aaron by the desk.

  
He was sitting there wrapping a bandage round his forearm with one hand and looking down at his paper with another.

  
"Liv, what are you doing here?" Aaron asked, slightly annoyed as he looked up and saw her there.

  
Liv felt tears prick her eyes, she just wanted him to ask her what was wrong so she could spill all about what day it was, "I need to speak to ya." She said sheepishly making Aaron sigh as he flattened the bandage round and looked up at her again.

  
"Can't it wait? I mean I'm really busy right now." Aaron said, biting down on his lip as he spoke and feeling guilty.

  
Liv pulled back, shaking her head, "Fine, whatever!" She said before racing out of the cabin and running all the way back to the pub.

Robert was there, of course. He was a right little housewife sometimes and always was there to make Liv her dinner when Aaron had to work longer.

  
"Liv?" Robert let out cautiously as he heard the door slam behind her.

  
Liv hesitated by the stairs before deciding to walk into the back room instead of sulk upstairs.

  
Robert instantly could tell something was wrong, her eyes were red as if she had been crying and she looked _distraught_.

 

Robert dropped the spoon in his hand and left the kitchen so that he could walk towards Liv and see her better, "Liv what's -"

  
Liv sighed before suddenly launching herself into Robert, squeezing onto him tightly and crying into his chest as he petted her hair.

  
"Liv, c'mon, what's wrong?" Robert spoke so gently to her, a voice only reserved for when Aaron was at his most vulnerable and needed reassurance.

  
Liv rubbed at her eyes before sighing, "It's dad's birthday..." she said harshly as she saw the way Robert was looking at her, his head falling a little as he realised how much they must have meant to Liv, the weird mixed emotions she would be feeling.  
Robert gulped hard, Aaron hadn't said anything, hadn't behaved any differently at all. Maybe he hadn't remembered, Robert was thankful.

  
"Do you want me to...to get Aaron?" Robert whispered as he moved some hair away from Liv's face, him and Liv were more than okay now yet he wasn't Aaron.

  
Liv rolled her eyes and pulled away from him, "He's too busy at the scrapyard bandaging up his arm and looking at files, he couldn't care less." She said with a sigh.

  
Liv frowned as she looked at Robert who had suddenly froze, staring wide eyed at her, "What, what do you mean he was - bandaging, what happened?" He was panicking, he couldn't help it. Maybe Aaron did know about his dad's birthday, maybe he was taking it out on himself, secretly, maybe that's why he pushed Liv away.

  
Liv shook her head, "I dunno, I just walked in and he had the first aid kit nearby...he was -" she cut herself off as her own eyes widened in shock, _no_.

  
"Wait, you don't think he... _meant_ to do it?" Liv said sounding almost hysterical as she tried to realise what she had been missing, what her self absorbed self had overlooked as she craved her brother's attention.

  
Robert held onto her shoulders tightly, "No, no it's okay - it's probably nothing." He had no idea how much Liv knew about what Aaron did to himself sometimes but she seemed to gather what he was getting at.

  
Liv felt tears prick her eyes as she struggled to breath, "Is this something to do with him having septicaemia? Whatever that even mea -"

  
Robert blew out a breath, holding his hands up to his face, "How do you know about -"

  
"I heard ya rowing the other week about it, I heard what you said Robert." Liv said quickly as she saw Robert tried to gather his thoughts without worrying her too much.

  
Robert frowned at her sadly after a few seconds, " _Liv_ you shouldn't have been listening," he said seriously, "Aaron wouldn't want you to worry." He added shaking as he got to the door, " _I_ don't want you to worry, God - okay just, just stay here alright." he let out as he saw the panic on her face grow.

  
"Robert," Liv said quickly, tears racing down her cheeks, "Is he gonna be okay?" She let out shakily before Robert sighed hard and pulled her in for another hug, Liv nestled into him, thankful for his height that made the closeness seem _better_ somehow.

  
"He'll be fine." Robert let out, trying to convince both of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Robert pushed through the door of the portacabin, catching his breath as he saw Aaron sitting there as if nothing was wrong.

  
"Come in why don't ya." Aaron let out sarcastically, instantly alerting Robert of his bad mood.

  
Robert stood there at the door, staring at Aaron and trying to work out if it was all just a misunderstanding.

  
"Do you want something or..." Aaron said annoyed before sighing and wobbling his head a little, "Is this about Liv?" He pushed a hand though his hair, "I was a bit short with her, is she alright?" He added as Robert drew closer to him.

  
Robert let out a little breath, "No she's a bit shaken up," he said causing Aaron to stare at him wide eyed, "Aaron did you...did you hurt yourself?" He asked shakily, looking down at his boyfriend's arm that was covered by his hoddie.

  
Aaron frowned, pulling it up easily and showing Robert the bandage that was spotted with blood, "Yeah, got my arm stuck in one of the cars, had to pull it out and -" Aaron looked at the way Robert was staring at him, scared.

  
"Rob what's -" Aaron said before stopping himself and realising, "I didn't, didn't do it on purpose Robert." He added sternly, almost stunned by Robert's silence.

  
Robert pulled back, titling his head and breathing out a shaky sigh, "Aaron show me, show me it okay, just let me see..." He said, hating how he had to be sure, if it was messy and all over the place them it was an accident, that's what he told himself.

  
Aaron stood up suddenly, shocked at how badly Robert didn't seem to trust him, "Are you mad? What, what don't you trust me!" He shouted, disgusted by the way Robert seemed to still need proof.

  
Robert pulled a hand up towards Aaron's chest to settle him, "For God's sake Aaron, this isn't about me, it's about your sister who's at home crying 'cos she's not sure what to think!" He said with such passion it nearly drained him completely.

  
Aaron stared back, tears spilling in his eyes, "Why would she...why would she just automatically think -" he felt like his gut had been punched.

  
Robert placed a hand through his hair, "It's your dad's birthday today." He said slowly watching Aaron look away, "She said she came to talk to ya about it and you turned her away, that you were bandaging yourself up and - and I just thought it might have been a trigger." He said guilty looking towards the ground.

  
Aaron pulled a hand over his mouth in surprise, "I didn't have a clue," he said honestly, "Rob you have to believe me..." he pleaded before looking outside, "I'll show you the bloody car if I have to!" He added just before Robert placed a finger in his lips to silence him.

  
"I'm sorry for doubting ya..." Robert said, tears in his own eyes, "I'll never stop worrying and I hate that, but I can't help it." He said realising that he was in such a state of blind panic when he had found out, he didn't allow himself to think rationally about the fact that he had witnessed his clumsy boyfriend hurt himself countless times when pulling out parts of cars.

  
Aaron pulled him into a hug, a tight forgiving one that settled them both, "You're _such_ a worry pot," he sighed out with a little chuckle as he felt Robert tighten around him, " _My_ worry pot though." He added before pulling away and kissing Robert lightly on the lips.

  
"I need to have a word with Liv." Aaron said pulling a face and sighing, as Robert rubbed at his arm.

  
"Do you want me to be there or..." Robert asked tentatively causing Aaron to shake his head slowly, "No I should do this," Aaron replied, "Thanks though, I'm glad she's got you, that we both have ya." Aaron whispered before planting another kiss on Robert's lips and faintly adding, "I love ya you know." As he held onto Robert tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

Liv sat there, a pillow to her chest as she cried, she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with this guilt. The door opened and suddenly she saw Aaron, a smile on his face but tears in his eyes and then Robert behind him, hanging back.

  
"Hey you," Aaron said sheepishly as he approached his sister, "Sorry about earlier." He added as he felt her tighten herself around him, burying her head in his chest like she had done with Robert.

  
"I'll leave ya to it," Robert said gently, shutting the door behind him and letting out a sigh, he couldn't believe how scared he had been only a few hours ago. He hated the feeling, but that relief straight after was enough to settle him again. Aaron was okay, safe and that was all that mattered.

Aaron shuffled next to Liv on the sofa, looking down at her and clearing his throat, "I know what you thought..." He said gently, "Don't blame ya really," he let out with a sigh, "But it wasn't what what you think, I _swear_." He said looking straight at Liv.

  
Liv relaxed her shoulders all at once, "I'm sorry" she said, her lip trembling, "I've wanted to say something for a while now, I...I was just a bit, I dunno _worried_." She said as she looked away slightly.

  
Aaron caught her arm and looked at her, "Liv, God I don't want you to be _worried_ about me," he said sighing softly, "That's Robert's job and my mum's...." he said with a smile, "Not you." a hand fell on her arm softly.

  
Liv gulped, "I heard ya arguing about...about that appointment, you having that septicaemia thing and I got scared." She said in a panic.

  
Aaron settled her with a hand on her back, rubbing slowly, "I did, back in January, things were bad Liv." He said looking towards the floor and clearing his throat.

  
"Robert said you could have _died_." Liv let out, wiping a tear away and feeling awful as Aaron looked at her stunned.

  
"Yeah, well...it wasn't looking too great, but I had Robert." Aaron said shaking his head seriously, "He helped me, like always," Aaron smiled, he _loved_ him so much, "And we arguing 'cos they wanted me to come back for some tests, catch up ones and I hadn't gone yet, but I did go, last week with Robert and everything's _fine_ , no need for either of ya to worry about it." He said, smiling at her and seeng the way she relaxed again.

  
Liv placed with her fingers before looking up at Aaron, "It's dad's -"

  
Aaron nodded his head, "I know, well I didn't know but," Liv looked away, causing Aaron to crane his neck towards her, "Liv I don't think about him the way you probably still do, but I'm here for ya, I'm sorry for being so short earlier...I had work to do but...but I'm here now." He said gently.

  
Liv nodded her head quickly, "I had Robert, he gave me a hug, weird." She said with a laugh making Aaron raise an eyebrow, "Oi he gives great hugs!" He said defending his boyfriend.

  
"It's the height." They both said at the same time making each other laugh even more.

  
Aaron pulled Liv into a side hug again, "I'm always here if ya wanna talk, or if not me...Robert yeah?" He said looking at her seriously and then kissing her head.

  
Liv gulped, "Same for you," she said looking up at her brother, "If you ever feel like...like you know you need to say something or...you feel like you might want to, _hurt_ yourself, know I'm here, I'm always here." She said tightening herself around him.

  
"I know." Aaron said, a smile lacing his lips and this pride for his sister that would never falter.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, despite the distinct lack of fluff!


End file.
